Disclaimer: Before going any further, please understand this is a personal vent. If you feel that you do not want to go any further, no hard feelings. If you end up reading the whole vent, I thank you for reading this.
You have been warned!
“To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes, Tonight I wanna cry”
“Tonight I wanna cry”
That pretty much sums up my night tonight. It’s been over a month since I’ve seen my husband for more than 50 mins during the week and a few hours on the weekends. I am so thankful that he is working and has a job (and one that allows me to be able to stay home and have daycare littles here) but I miss him. I miss being able to have his arms around me when I need him the most. I miss seeing his face, his smile. I miss hearing him tell me that everything will be okay. I miss having more than a 30 min conversation with him. (we text throughout the evening but it’s not the same!). I want to have a semi “normal” relationship with my husband. I love him having the ability to be off work during the summer months but these outages SUCK! It’s been almost 8 years since we started this routine in his career and even though I know what to expect it doesn’t make it any easier.
I am so tired of hearing…
“I don’t know how you do it, I could never be away from my husband for that long”
“How do you go that long without talking to him?”
“I would never do (insert a “man chore” (around the house). I would leave it for him to come home”
It gets old! I do it because I support his career. I am very proud of how far he has come. I do it because he values my career dream of staying home (with our babygirl) If I don’t do something that needs to get done around the house IT WONT GET DONE! I am not one that likes to ask for help (unless I really need it) so yes, I bring in the wood for the wood burner (all by myself!). Yes, I walk the trash bin to the street (all by myself!). Yes, I take care of everything that goes with having a home (all by myself! Of course, there are some exceptions but those come few and far between).
I keep my house clean. I have littles running around the house during the day. I go to the gym when I can get there. I run errands. I do it all. I take care of our princess. I take care of our dog.
This is my life and I enjoy it. That doesn’t mean I love every minute of it but damn it I LOVE my life and wouldn’t change it for the world. I just wish some people would realize how good they have it, learn to count their blessings, and be thankful for what they have in their life instead of wondering how I function in my life. Because if you must know I function pretty damn good.