Many Faces

I recently linked up with A Mama Collection to do a post about Love In Motherhood. 

There are many different faces of being a first time mom.
The first face I believe comes from being excited. The excitement of finding out your pregnant, the excitement of teaching/guiding your child. There many ways to feel excited. I believe this face probably was the one I wore for the majority of my pregnancy. After trying for over 2 years, the excitement was never hiding. I was so excited to be able to carry a child, to feel the movements, to protect our little one. I was excited for the nursery to get started, for the shopping to begin. Then we found out that we were having a girl. Then I became very excited. The bows, the dresses, all the pink!!! Picking out a name (which by the way because of My Mr. took FOREVER!), picking out a nursery theme,  and more shopping. The excitement continues as each flutter, each kick and each movement is felt.

Then the face of self doubt comes creeping in. Am I able to take care of another person? Will I be able to handle this? This face didn’t come around until later in pregnancy, which I am glad. I don’t think I would have been happy if it lasted all 9 months!

The face of being anxious comes next. Anxious because you know in a few weeks/days or hours you are about to give birth. Anxious about the pain, anxious about the whole precedure. Will everything go okay? Will I be able to handle the pain? These are things that no one can ever explain to you but yet everyone tries. Because Baby P can 11 days early I didn’t have much of this face around.  It was more after we were in the hospital and the nurse said “get comfortable, your here for the long haul”.

Excitement starts to creep back in after you are finally able to hold your little one. Then when it’s time to go home for the first time then the nervousness comes back. Will I do okay without the nurses?

Then the first time you leave your little one, whether it’s for a few hours or over night. Guilt rears its face. Guilt of being a mom and feeling as though you should be the one that takes care of your little one. Even though you completely trust she/he is okay, guilt sticks around. Guilt of what is she/he thinking because your not around. This face comes and goes I believe for a long time…at least in my case.

And as your little one grows, the faces come and go too. But every time…
she looks at me and smiles. Or that late night cuddle.
Or her eyes light up when I pick her up. Every little thing she does.
It all brings Love In Motherhood and I wouldn’t change a thing.

What does Love In Motherhood mean to you?
Follow #loveinmotherhood to find out what other moms are saying and don’t forget to check out the other posts!