About Infertility. It’s a word I never thought I would have to think about. I didn’t expect to get pregnant the first time. I thought it would take a few “tries”. I thought within a year I would have a happy baby to take home.
Here is my story:
The year was 2010. Mr. Love and I had been married for 2 years (almost to the date) and we decided it was time to start trying to bring a bundle of joy into this world and turn our family into a 3 person home. It was time to turn to the next chapter in our lives together. We enjoyed our time being married and doing things together (by this time we have been together for 5 years) but we knew we wanted to become parents.
It was a scary and exciting time for us. We were unsure and nervous of the unknown. Would we become good parents? How would our furbaby react to someone else getting attention? Would it be a boy or a girl? Would Mr. Love be able to come home for the birth? Those are just some of the questions that came up when we would talk about taking the next step.
After about 6 months of trying and nothing happened. I went to the DR for a yearly examine and brought it up to him that we were trying and nothing is happening. He said it’s normal and if it didn’t happen in about 6 more months to give him a call back. Well, I called him back a little earlier. Mr. Love was home for the summer and I wanted to get to the process started if we had to go down the fertility drug route. I was still hopeful at this point that we would be able to do it ourselves.
Well, after speaking with the DR. He thought we should take the next step and start clomid. We were given 50mg the first month. Still no positive. The following month we were given 100mg and another 100mg on the third month. By this time I was getting frustrated and I felt like the DR wasn’t doing as much as he could to help me. It was exactly one year of trying I decided it was time to switch DR’s. New DR said he would monitor my cycles for a few months and also give me clomid again. First month with new DR was 100mg again. Still negative. AF showed. Second month with new DR. was 100mg with 2 extra days of clomid. Ta-Da! It worked!!! We got our first ever positive on November 22, 2011.
And then the day our world was torn apart. It was almost 2 weeks before Christmas 2011. I started bleeding. I got into the DR that day and they couldn’t find ANYTHING in my uterus. My world was falling apart right there. THEN came the news. “I think you’re having an ectopic pregnancy”. I went for more lab work and then recieved the call. “I need you to come in and we are going to administer the Methotraxate shot.” It was confirmed. Our little bean was trying to make my tube his/her home. I have never felt so upset in my life. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, like it was a nightmare and then realizing it was the reality and start crying again. Mr. Love and I decided to take some time off of actually trying after this time and just let it be. If it happened it would happen. After some time off we decided to revisit the DR again. We started back on clomid and in October of 2012 we got our second set positive! June of 2013 we gave birth to a princess!
Infertility takes it’s toll on you emotionally, physically and mentally. It makes you feel broken. It makes you wonder why you have to go through this. It makes you resentful. It makes you bitter. It makes you give up hope. There are many different roller coaster of emotions that go with dealing with infertility. Just remember infertility affects 1 in 8 people; it’s not just women. Resolve to know more about infertility by visiting resolve.org. Also all week you can follow #NIAW on twitter to find more information.